All over the UK there is the mingled
excitement and fear of new Autumn beginnings. Those who have just started at
nursery, infant, junior or secondary school and those about to start college,
university, new evening classes or jobs or returning to previous work after a
long absence will, regardless of their age and background, be experiencing
certain feelings in common.
The probationary teacher struggling with the
maze of a new school will need several orientation walks to find her way along
what will look like an innocuous corridor a few days later. Infant and junior
age children check the path to physical autonomy - the route to and from the
toilets, the playground, the dining hall whilst the new secondary child checks the
initially complex map of the school timetable and the contents of their bags.
Students of all ages show their nerves or
ambivalence by arriving too late, too early, losing part of their minds, their
reading lists, their parking space. Alternatively, some have obsessively
struggled to do everything beforehand to cushion their fear and excitement
about the unknown. Others protect themselves by denigrating the new knowledge.
In one 6th form group struggling with the end
of secondary school there was a joke that illustrated this process. A famous
Oxbridge philosopher, it was recounted, was invited to give a talk. Seated at
lunch afterwards next to a schoolgirl who had not heard his presentation, he
was asked what he did. When he said he was a philosopher the girl loftily
replied “Oh - philosophy! We finished that last year”. Coming to the end of one
major period where it possible to “know” the requisite amount, whether it is
the end of nursery school or a postgraduate qualification, it can be a blow to personal
omnipotence to realise there is a further mountain and a further and a further.
A Mr J.N. wrote to me recently about his five
year old son Jason who started school a month ago. Apparently until the summer
holiday Jason had been very excited about the prospect - wanting new crayons
and felt-tips and a big desk in his room. Then he got nervy, even though he had
been to nursery school since the age of two and had got used to the existence
of his baby brother. Now he says he knows how to read already (he doesn’t) so
it’s boring and he does not want to go out in the playground as there are rough
children there. His father is stumped because he is a probation officer working
with the “rough” products of failed systems. He had been thinking about some top-up
training for himself, but decided it might be hard going back.
A beginning can be like a birth. However,
unlike the experience of a wanted first-born who helps to shape the universe
around himself, for all other beginners the universe has already been largely
created! However sensitive the infant teacher or university lecturer there is a
structure that has already been established. There are also other siblings.
Jason’s personal domestic universe has already been transformed by the birth of
his brother. Are there feelings about this change that he has displaced on to
the infant school? Is he worried about how the older children are because, as
the older son in his family, he knows how angry he feels towards his younger
baby brother and how rough he would like to be?
The school, university and workplace are full
of unresolved sibling struggles! Although Jason may have adapted well to the
birth of his baby brother the experience of meeting new classmates could
reawaken those anxieties. Well-run schools modify such concerns whilst schools
with low-morale and lack of leadership exacerbate them, leading to rough
playground behaviour. Is there a realistic component in Jason’s fears that Mr
J.N. is blind to because it links with his work?
Could it be that both the school and Mr
J.N.’s service are failing to contain the fears and hopes for change of both
staff and clients?
In the aptly titled book “The Unconscious at
Work”, psychoanalyst Anton Obholzer comments “human beings are notoriously
resistant to change, even when the change appears to be relatively minor.
Managing change inevitably requires managing the anxieties and resistance
arising from the change process. It is therefore important to understand the
nature of the anxieties that are stirred up, as well as those inherent in the
regular work of the organisation”.
There are certainly a lot of rough feelings
about. It is possible that Jason’s fears are reawakening old or chronic
concerns in his father. It is not just children who receive the problems and
fears of their parents- there is a two-way traffic!
Both Jason and his father are suffering from
“beginner-itis” - the painful awareness that skills in one area (crayons,
postgraduate training) are no final answer to development.
Those who
struggle with these issues find they are rewarded. Ruth Rosen, the South
African born actress, turned her talents to devising and performing British
poetry and prose readings since emigrating here. However, with the recent
return to democracy in South Africa she was invited to go back for a one-woman
performance of Shirley Valentine. What was it like going back after an absence?
“To be truthful, there was great trepidation. I dived in at the deep end. It
was a wonderful thing to do as the script was brilliant and I learned an
amazing amount. It was a major turning point in my life because it took
courage”.
If all about him keep their heads Jason may
find that despite his nerves he will find the courage to learn and play just as
he has learned to manage being an older brother and perhaps his father will
also enjoy extending his horizons.